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If you really want to get rid of somebody at a party, here’s the magic phrase:  “I’ve written a song; would you like to hear it.?”  Try it; it works every time!  With that said, I swear I’m not trying to get rid of you when I say, “I’ve written a song, would you like to read it?”  Or maybe it’s not a song, but more of a poem.  Or maybe it’s what they call Spoken Word Verse.  I’ll take it with me the next time I go to a poetry slam.

Actually, on re-reading it, I think I must have been trying to write a Tom Waits song.  If anybody could save it, he could.  While I’m trying to figure out what I’ve got here, please enjoy the nervous tale below, crafted by yours truly.  (And, if you have a set of bongos, it will probably sound better with a few well-timed thumps on the skins, man.)

Waco

When you see me at the depot,
Turn and look the other way.
Just cough into your hand,
And I’ll know that we’re okay.
We’ll get as far as Tulsa,
Then it’s safe enough to talk.
We’ll meet inside the dining car
And take a little walk.
Unil then, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you.
We’re gettin’ outta Waco on the 7:32.

I’ve been renting out a single
At the Tipperary Inn
On the highway by the Fina
And I’m almost out of gin.
I haven’t touched the money
Or the you-know-what.
A deal’s a deal.  I wouldn’t ever
Disrespect your cut.
Don’t get followed to the station, whatever you do.
We’re gettin’ outta Waco on the 7:32.

There’s a waitress that I met,
And I got a little loose.
I might’ve said too much
Drinking Tanqueray and juice.
So now I got a problem,
’Cause she thinks we’re getting hitched.
I had to tell her that,
Because she just about snitched.
The funny thing is, she looks a lot like Sue.
I’ll let you see her picture on the 7:32.

She likes to come to bed
Wearing little silver spurs,
Serenading me in Spanish.
She thinks half the money’s hers.
But it’s okay; I didn’t let her
See the yellow box.
Wouldn’t matter if she did, because
She couldn’t pick the locks.
She wants to go to Paris.  I didn’t tell her ’bout you.
She doesn’t know I’m leaving on the 7:32.